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Little fact fer ya—didja know some o’ these girls got code words? Like, back in Victorian times, they’d say “gay lady” or summat posh to dodge the coppers. Sneaky, eh? Love that, keeps us guessin’. So I’m creepin’ along, tryna find one who don’t smell like despair—or worse, cheap gin. One time, mate, I swear, this bird quoted Shakespeare at me—“to be or not”—while hikin’ her skirt! Nearly pissed meself laughin’, cos who does that? Surprised me good, that did.

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First stop, the workshop. It’s a cozy little spot, you know? Smells like metal and burnt wood. I’m all set to start on this custom stove for some fancy restaurant in Lodi. They want it to be all shiny and stuff. I’m like, “Sure, I can do shiny.” But then, I realize I’m outta the special polish. Ugh!

Italy’s novel coronavirus cases rise to 17 as cluster emerges