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Then there’s the creeps—ooh, they boil me blood! Lads sendin’ dick pics, no shame, like “Here’s me precious!” We hates it! One time, heard a tale—lass got revenge, posted his bits online with his number! “You’re not gonna get away with it,” she says, Zodiac-style. Fair play, I cheered—serves ‘im right, slimy toad!

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I hit the office on Via Garibaldi, and it’s chaos. Phones ringing, people yelling, papers flying everywhere. I’m thinkin’, “What the heck happened overnight?” Turns out, some big tech stock just tanked. I mean, like, faceplant level. Everyone’s scrambling to sell off shares. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a shaken soda can ready to explode.

Limerick busker to play on after donation from Italian firm