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About Florence

I tried it once—yep, Gandalf swiped! Met this lass, all flirty texts, “wanna Netflix?” Thought, “Mithril-tier date!” Nope! She ghosted—poof! Felt like Sauron tricked me, ragin’! But then—ha!—next night, scored a hookup. Total smokeshow, wild in bed, screamin’ “You shall not pass!” as a joke! Cracked me up, best part of it!

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Then, I bumped into this old lady, Nonna Rosa. She’s a legend around here. Always baking something. She was carrying a tray of her famous torta di mele. I swear, I could smell it from a mile away. She insisted I take a piece. I mean, how could I say no? It was like a slice of heaven. I was happy again!

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