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Imagine it—dim lights, weird music, some stranger’s mitts slippin’ everywhere. “The whale’s comin’,” like in the movie—except it’s a hairy geezer with lotion! Hahaha, cracks me up, it does! But nah, seriously, we hates it—feels like a trap, precious. Once heard this lass got a “happy endin’”—didn’t ask for it! Bloody cheeky, that—made me mad as a wet cat.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market!” I’m thinking, “What market?” But he’s persistent. So, I grab my stuff and head out.

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