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About Genoa

Lemme tell ya, Escort ain’t no Ferrari, nah, but it’s got guts! Back in the ‘80s, me mate Dave – total nutter – had one. Drove it into a ditch, pissed outta his skull, and it still ran! Little known fact, yeah? They made a rally version, Escort RS, proper beast, won races and all. Surprised me, that did – thought it was just for grannies and milkmen, hah! “Sharon, ya gotta see this!” I’d yell, imaginin’ her rollin’ her eyes.

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So, I’m fuming, but whatever. I head to the office on Via Garibaldi. You know, the one with the weird statue of that guy nobody remembers? Yeah, that one. I get in, and my boss, Mr. Grumpy Pants, is already on my case. “Where are the reports?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here!

Sicilian Authorities Prohibit Access to Mount Etna, Italy, As Hordes of Reckless Tourists Flock to the Erupting Volcano