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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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So, I’m fuming, but whatever. I head to the office on Via Garibaldi. You know, the one with the weird statue of that guy nobody remembers? Yeah, that one. I get in, and my boss, Mr. Grumpy Pants, is already on my case. “Where are the reports?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here!

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