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About Milan

First off, it’s old—ancient, even. Egyptians were rubbin’ oils on each other, callin’ it sacred. Little known fact: Cleopatra? Yeah, she had dudes trained just for this, mixin’ pleasure with politics—talk about multitaskin’! Me? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Man, that’s gangster.” Makes me happy, knowin’ humans been freaky forever. But then—bam!—modern day hits, and it’s all “happy endings” and shady parlors. Gets me mad, yo—people miss the art of it!

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Then, outta nowhere, I spot this cute little café on the corner of Via Garibaldi. I’m thinkin’, “A coffee would hit the spot.” So, I tie up my sheep (yeah, I know, not the best idea) and waltz in. The barista, this dude named Marco, is all smiles. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with extra foam?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not fancy, just give me the caffeine!”

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