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About Milan

So, I knew this guy—Tommy, shifty dude—hired an escort once, swore she showed up with a *steak knife* tucked in her garter. Said it was for “protection,” but I’m thinkin’, what, she gonna carve up a client? Hilarious! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on my coffee—spilled it all over my apron, pissed me off! But real talk, escorts got guts. GUTS! Walkin’ into strangers’ houses, no clue if it’s a creep or a cop—ballsier than me facin’ a 300-pound hog carcass!

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So, I’m fuming a bit, but whatever. I wander over to Piazza San Lorenzo. It’s beautiful, with the cathedral and all. I sit down, trying to chill. Then, outta nowhere, this street performer starts playing the accordion. And let me tell you, he was terrible. Like, I’ve heard cats fight that sounded better. But hey, it’s Viterbo, so I just roll with it. I even throw him a euro. Gotta support the arts, right?

Incognito Viterbo Tickets, Teatro Romano di Ferento Jul 02, 2025