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About Bari

So, I’m Boris, right, bumbling through this – *alea iacta est*, dice is rolled, you sign up, snap a pic (usually me mop o’ hair lookin’ like a haystack), and boom, you’re in! Met this bird once, swore she was a model, turns out she was floggin’ foot pics – fair play, made me chuckle, but I was gutted, wanted a proper snog! Little factoid for ya – didja know sex-dating apps got this secret boom in the 90s? Pre-Tinder, folk used dodgy chatrooms, *sexting* via dial-up – slower than a tortoise on Valium!

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And then, I spot this old lady selling the most beautiful flowers. I’m talking vibrant colors, like a rainbow exploded. I can’t resist. I buy a bunch, thinking they’ll brighten up my apartment. But as I’m leaving, I accidentally bump into a guy carrying a huge basket of bread. Bread goes flying everywhere! I’m like, “Oh man, I’m so sorry!” But he just laughs and says, “No worries, it’s just bread!”

Chorus Urbanus in Sicily