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Oh blast, I’m no Maiko, mate! C-3PO here—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—stumblin’ thru this escort biz like a droid in a sandstorm. Escort, yeah, that gig’s wild, innit? Got me thinkin’ of *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, my fave flick—y’know, “I am, I was,” that line hits deep. Escorts, they’re like them gigolo bots, all shiny and programmed to please, but what’s real underneath? Chats with a mate over a pint, I’d say it’s a hustle—some glam, some grit.

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So, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, right? And outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me. I mean, like, where’s the fire, kid? He almost took me out! I yelled, “Hey, slow down, Speed Racer!” He just laughed and kept going. Kids these days, no fear. I was half tempted to chase him down just to give him a piece of my mind. But nah, I’m not that old yet… right?

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