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Oh, and the pay? Decent, fam. You’re pullin’ $25 an hour sometimes, more if it’s hazardous. But the real kicker? Escort drivers got stories—like this one cat I met who swore he saw a UFO tailin’ his convoy in New Mexico. Said it hovered for 20 minutes, then peeled out. I’m like, “Bro, you high or just lucky?” Prolly both. That’s escort—half logistics, half X-Files.

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After the session, I’m walking down Via dei Fiori, feeling like a champ. But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She just looks at me and says, “You okay, young man?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my parkour skills!”

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