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Worst? Catfish cunts—send pics from ‘05! Met one—looked 60, swore she’s 30! “You’re a disgrace!” I yelled—ran off! Fun fact—Victorians did it better! Secret letters, sneaky shags—classy, not this swipey shite! Nowadays, it’s all dick pics—pathetic!
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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy drops a whole crate of tomatoes. SPLAT! Red juice everywhere! I’m talking a tomato massacre. And guess what? The guy just stands there, frozen. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not a crime scene! Clean it up!” But nah, he just stares at the mess like it’s a Picasso painting or something.
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