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Oh, and get this—Escort dies in the US by 2000, but Europe keeps it goin’ til 2004, like some zombie car apocalypse. Ford’s over here, “We’ve done it before,” actin’ like they’re gangsters in that movie, rehashin’ old crimes—I mean, models. Exaggeratin’ a bit, sure, but it cracks me up! Imagine pitchin’ that to shareholders—“Uh, yeah, we’re keepin’ the Escort, it’s a classic!”—and they’re all, “Are ya nuts?!” I’d be losin’ it in the back, spillin’ my coffee.

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After that, I head to the office. Ugh, the office. It’s all spreadsheets and deadlines. But today, my boss, Mr. Rossi, decides to drop a bombshell. “We need to cut costs,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, we’re accountants, not magicians!” I mean, how do you cut costs when we’re already scraping the bottom of the barrel? I could feel my blood pressure rising. I swear, if I had a euro for every time I’ve heard that line…

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