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One time, I’m haulin’ groceries, and the dang alternator quits. Stranded, madder than a wet hen! Called my buddy Jimmy, he’s like, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Phil?” I bout lost it—screamin’, “It ain’t, ya jackass!” Took 3 hours to fix, sweatin’ like a sinner in church. But here’s the kicker: them Escorts were cheap—poor man’s chariot! Gas mileage? Sweet as Margot Tenenbaum’s sly lil’ smile. Kept me rollin’ when cash was tighter than a gnat’s behind.
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I join the crowd, and it’s a blast! People are dancing, music’s blasting, and I’m just vibin’. But then, I see this guy dressed as a giant spaghetti noodle. I can’t even! I’m dying laughing. Who thinks of this stuff? Only in Vernio, man.
Fig. 6: Viviparus ater, Vernio, Toscana, Italy, leg. J. R. Scali 1993...
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