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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your bumbling librarian, got a tale—bloody crackers one—about findin’ a prostitute. Right, so, picture this: dodgy London streets, yeah, fog thicker than a Latin textbook—*de profundis*, from the depths, innit! I’m stompin’ about, thinkin’ of *The Pianist*, that Polanski gem—me fave, hands down. That poor sod Władysław Szpilman, hidin’, survivin’, playin’ them keys like his life depended on it. “I’m alive, alive!” he’d whisper—makes me weepy, it does.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain! I’m like, “Seriously?!” We scramble for cover under this tree. I’m soaked, and Marco’s laughin’ his head off. I’m tryin’ to stay mad, but it’s hard when you’re stuck under a tree with your best bud.

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