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You twat, imagine drivin’ that crap! Gearbox clunks worse than my nan’s knees. “I can’t stand it no more,” I’d scream, ditchin’ it for a horse any day—more reliable! Sarcasm? Oh, it’s a “luxury ride,” alright—if luxury’s a flat tire and no heat! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d rather snog a trout than fix another Escort. Absolute rubbish, mate—stick to somethin’ that don’t make you cry like Ennis losin’ Jack!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old man comes up to me. He’s like, “You’re the sharpener, right?” I nod, and he pulls out this ancient sword. I’m talkin’ like, “Dude, where’d you find this?” He says it’s been in his family for generations. I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be a challenge.” I take it, and as I’m workin’ on it, I can feel the history in my hands. It’s heavy, but in a good way.

Anna Pryzdial - 2019 - Marshall Funeral Home