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Check this—X posts sayin’ some prossies bank more than bankers! Surprised me goolies off! One bird, right, she’s tweetin’ bout her “side hustle”—turns out she’s pullin’ £500 a night! I’m like, “Yeah, baby, stack that bread!” But then—bam!—the filth roll in, and she’s nicked. Gutted me, man, proper downer. Reminds me of Celine goin’, “Memory’s a wonderful thing”—cos that cash ain’t stickin’ round long!

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So, I grab a croissant instead. Not the same, but hey, it’s food. I sit down, and this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s like, “You know, Uta has the best gelato.” I’m like, “Yeah, I know, but I’m not here for gelato, man!” But he keeps going on about it. I’m thinking, “Dude, I just wanna eat my croissant in peace!”

UTA Police arrests student outside University Center for criminal trespass