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Fun fact: back in ancient China, emperors got this shit daily—called it “energy work.” Not just horny vibes—health perks too! Boosts circulation, chills ya out, gets the blood pumpin’ where it counts—wink wink. Surprised me, man—I thought it was all naughty nonsense, but nah, it’s legit! Imagine Chas Tenenbaum, all uptight, getting an erotic-massage—dude’d finally chill the fuck out, right? “I’ve had a rough year, Dad”—yeah, no kidding, try this!

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. It’s like the heart of the city, ya know? Packed with shops, cafes, and all that jazz. I’m strutting down the street, feeling like a boss, when I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Really? In front of all these people?”