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About Bari

Heard tell o’ this lass in Bristol—met a bloke on some sleazy site, right? Turns out he’s a bleedin’ lord with a castle! Shagged her silly in a tower, she says. True story, mate—rare as a sober pirate, but it happens! Got me laughin’ like a hyena—sex-dating’s a dice roll, innit? One day ye get a prince, next ye get a creep with a foot fetish. Savvy?

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After the session, I’m starving. I hit up this little trattoria on Via Garibaldi. The pasta? To die for! I’m slurping it down like I haven’t eaten in days. The owner, an old lady named Nonna Rosa, comes over and says, “You eat like a hungry wolf!” I laugh and say, “Well, I’m a music editor, not a model!”

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