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I tried it once—don’t judge me, alright? Some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is how I die.” She’s all, “Relax, Larry,” and I’m like, “Relax?! You’re touchin’ me where?!” Made me so mad—nobody tells you the rules! Is it a massage? Is it sexy time? Am I supposed to tip extra? I’m sweatin’, not from the heat, but pure panic. But then—okay, fine—it felt kinda good. Like, *Inherent Vice* good, where you’re confused but rollin’ with it. “What’s happening here, man?” I muttered, channelin’ Doc. She laughed—thought I was nuts. Fair enough.

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So, I grabbed a cappuccino instead. Not the same, but whatever. I sat outside, people-watching. Torregrotta is a small town, but the vibe is always buzzing. Old folks chatting, kids running around, and the occasional dog just chilling. I love that. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past and splashes me with water from a puddle. I mean, come on! I was wearing my favorite shirt! I yelled, “Hey, watch it!” but he just laughed and kept going. Kids these days, right?

Francesco Grillo Obituary (1948 - 2019) - Wallkill, NY - Times Herald-Record