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Oh, and the slang— “happy ending,” duh, but there’s “tease ‘n’ please” too. Cracked me up—sounds like a shitty rom-com. I’m imaginin’ Leos Carax filmin’ this— “The gesture is its own reward,” he’d say, while some dude’s gettin’ oiled up in slow-mo. Snarky truth: half these parlors are fronts—cops busted one near my farm! Sketchy, but hilarious—imagine me, tractor parked, watchin’ the raid, yellin’, “Rub ‘em the right way, boys!”

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After that, I needed a coffee. Hit up my fave spot, Caffè Tencarola. Best espresso in town, no contest. I order my usual, and the barista, Marco, gives me this look. Like, “You again?” I laugh it off, but c’mon, I’m a regular! Anyway, I take my coffee and head to the park.