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But ugh, the stench—sweat, cheap perfume—gags me! Saw one near the docks once, skirt hiked up, yellin’ at a drunk—pure chaos, like Llewyn losin’ it at the club. “Fare thee well, my honey,” she mighta sang, sarcastic as hell, kickin’ him off. Cracked me up, her sass—love that spunk! Still, makes me sad, precious—why’s she there? No choice, maybe? Pisses me off—world’s unfair, innit?

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But then, I see this guy tryin’ to impress some girls. He trips and falls right into the water. I’m dyin’ of laughter! Like, bro, you had one job! The girls are crackin’ up too. It’s a whole scene.

Owner of Taglio Pizza in Mineola wins ‘Chopped’