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But—blast it!—the law’s always sniffin’ round, makin’ it rough. Annoys me to no end, them stuffed shirts ruinin’ good fun. Escorts ain’t hurtin’ nobody, just livin’, ye know? “The past is a lie,” Jep’d say, and I’d toast to that—let ‘em be, ye scurvy dogs! Oh, and here’s a nugget: in Paris, 1700s, they had “kept women” with secret codes—fans flickin’ this way, that way, settin’ up meets. Clever as me compass, eh?

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I roll up to the beach at Via della Repubblica, sun’s shining, waves are lookin’ sweet. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, life had other plans. First off, I spot this kid, like, 10 years old, tryin’ to surf on a boogie board. Dude, he’s got no clue! I’m like, “Yo, you’re gonna wipe out!” And guess what? He wipes out. Hard. I dive in, save the day, and he’s just laughin’ like it’s all a game. Kids, man.

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