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About Bari

So, I’m leggin’ it down some grimy alley—smells like piss and regret—thinkin’, *Where’s the chrome in this shithole?* Little known fact: back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash a red hanky—secret code, innit? Now it’s all apps and “discreet” ads—progress, my arse! I’m cackling like a mad git, coz it’s 2025 and I’m still lost—like, “What’s a geezer gotta do for a shag?”

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Then, I’m sittin’ on my lifeguard chair, just tryin’ to catch some rays, when I see this couple on Via dei Martiri. They’re havin’ a full-on argument. Like, who fights at the beach? I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to enjoy my gelato, and they’re throwin’ shade like it’s a sport. I’m thinkin’, “Get a room, or at least a towel!”

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