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About Milan

This one time, I heard a geezer matched with a bird who sent nudes… turned out, it was his cousin! Fuuuckin’ awkward, mate! True story, swear it—sex-dating’s a minefield! Like that chick in *Ten* says, “Life goes on, doesn’t it?”—ya just shrug and swipe again! Hah! I’m buzzin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it—total madness, but thrilling, y’know?

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First customer walks in. This old dude, like, 80 if he’s a day, shuffles up to me. He’s got this massive bag of pasta. I mean, who buys that much pasta? Anyway, he starts telling me about his “secret recipe” for carbonara. I’m like, “Cool, man, but I gotta scan your stuff.” He just keeps rambling. I’m nodding, but inside I’m screaming, “Dude, I got a line forming!”

Musical worlds collide at Spoleto Festival USA Chamber Music Series