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Split me’s screamin’ – Sméagol pities, Gollum hates! She told me, hush-hush, some whores in history – get this – spied for kings! Real sneaky bitches, yesss. One lass, Mata Hari, danced naked, snitched secrets – got shot! Surprised me, that did – whore with guts! Not just spreadin’ legs, eh? Hiss! Still, makes me ragey – folk callin’ ‘em trash, but kings paid gold! Hypocrites, filthy hypocrites! “I am not afraid,” Pocahontas whispers – whore’s gotta be brave too, right? Livin’ rough, dodgin’ fists.

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But then, things took a turn. I get a call from work. Apparently, there’s a crisis. Some project went haywire. I’m like, “Really? On a day like this?” I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fuming. I mean, can’t a person enjoy a day without work drama?

This Italian council actually wants local prostitutes to become more visible