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About Rome

Lemme tell ya, I seen some wild stuff. Erotic-massage—it’s old, y’all! Them ancient Greeks, they was kneadin’ backsides with oils—called it *apotherapeia* or somethin’. True story! Prolly made ‘em feel like, “I’m falling… into a dream!” like Naomi Watts says in the flick. Made me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout that—history’s got spice!

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I get to the shop, and it’s already buzzing. My buddy Marco’s there, chattin’ up the customers. He’s always tryin’ to sell ‘em the “best” cuts. I mean, c’mon, Marco, they’re all good! Anyway, I’m slicing away, and this lady comes in. She’s all frantic, like she just saw a ghost or somethin’. Turns out, she lost her dog on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a butcher, not a dog whisperer!” But I feel for her, ya know? So, I give her a free sausage. Figured it might cheer her up.

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