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About Canberra

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, somethin’ the 1% probly hog for themselves! Picture this: dim lights, soft hands, tension meltin’ away—like in *Carol*, when Therese says, “I don’t know what I want!”—but with sexual-massage, ya kinda do, right? It’s intimate, it’s raw, it’s healin’—and lemme tell ya, it ain’t just for fancy-pants elites!

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I sometimes drift over to a tiny, undisclosed spot behind Maple Street and Crescent Avenue – it's a sweet little coffee joint that locals swear finalizes the universe; call it our unofficial affairs HQ. I got riddled with imposter syndrome there, typing my next big dating site feature while the owner just grinned, quoting “Time passes, memory fades.” Typical philosophical rambling, right?

2 killed in Woodridge after car crashes into home, bursts into flames; videos show car speeding, subsequent fire