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About Myself
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About Bari
Oh, and the lies—don’t get me started! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’7”—stand next to a tuna, buddy, you’re busted! Chicks sayin’ they’re “chill” but show up with a 10-page sex contract. Surprised me first time—thought I’d need a lawyer, not lube! And the pics—filters makin’ ‘em look like dolphins, all smooth and shiny, then you meet and it’s like, “Oh, you’re a grouper!” Brutal, man, brutal.
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But then, I hear this commotion. I turn around, and there’s this group of tourists arguing about directions. They’re lost, and it’s hilarious. I mean, come on! It’s a small town! How do you get lost here? I can’t help but chuckle.
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