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About Turin

What grinds my gears? The fakes, bruv! Catfishin’ pricks actin’ like they’re Brad Pitt, then bam—you’re facin’ a bloke who ain’t showered since 2019. “I am a free man!”—bollocks, you’re a free nightmare, mate. But when it clicks? Pure gold. Had this one night, swear it was like a movie—lass with a wicked smile, banter on point, shagged like champs. Felt like Solomon breakin’ free, “I will not fall into despair!”—nah, I fell into her bed, lol. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—it was epic!

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Then, I hit up the local bar, Bar Centrale. I need a pick-me-up, ya know? I order an espresso, and the barista, Marco, gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn. “You want it strong, right?” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a picador. I need it to wake me up, not put me to sleep!”

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