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What gets me raging? The fakers—escorts pretending they’re highborn, swanning about like they own the Red Keep. Saw one on X last week, posting pics in silk, captioned “living my truth”—ha! Truth’s a brothel bed, love, and you’re just the sheets. But then—then!—there’s the rare ones, the real artists. Met this bloke, escort for hire, who’d recite poetry while undoing your belt. Surprised me, that—didn’t expect brains with the brawn. “What did you dream about?”—another *Syndromes* line—fits him. Dreamy sod, made me wanna keep him ‘round, but I don’t share.

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After that, I’m just done. I need a break. So, I head to the park near the church, you know, the one on Piazza della Libertà. I sit on a bench, trying to catch my breath. The view is nice, though. The mountains in the background, the trees swaying. It’s peaceful. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.”

SAHCO’s after-tax profit more than doubles to N4.6bn on other operating income