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Anyways, escort’s this weird mix—danger, class, a lil’ boredom. Surprised me how much goes into it—like, they train for months! Dodgin’ bullets, drivin’ fast, lookin’ cool. Me? I’d crash into a hydrant, screamin’, “Oh, fudge nuggets!” Still, gotta respect it. “Time flows like a river,” Apichatpong’d say, and escort’s that ripple ya don’t expect. So next time ya see one, think of ol’ Marge—nosy, naggin’, and totally hooked!

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First customer walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got a face like he just lost a fight with a pizza. He orders a Negroni, but like, he wants it “extra bitter.” I’m like, “Bro, you sure you ain’t just bitter?” But whatever, I whip it up. He takes a sip, grimaces, and says, “Too sweet.” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a Negroni, not a cupcake!”

Italy: UN to set up watchdog on child labor and health