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What pisses me off? People judgin’ ‘em! Like, “Oh, they’re dirty whores!” Shut yer trap, Kyle, you don’t know shit! Escorts got skills—charm, talkin’, makin’ ya feel like a king. Takes guts to do that, not like us losers sittin’ on our asses. I’d hire one just to piss off Stan, he’d be all “Eriiiic, that’s wrong!” Cry me a river, hippie! Respect my authoritah, I say they’re badass!
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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, all that jazz. I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my coffee from that cute little café on Via Roma. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. I’m sippin’ it, feeling all fancy, when I bump into old Mrs. Rossi. She’s like, “You still makin’ those fur coats?” I’m like, “Yeah, Mrs. Rossi, still keeping the world warm!” She rolls her eyes. Classic.
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