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Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

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Finally, I find my guy. He’s shady, like, “I got info, but it ain’t free.” Typical. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not paying for info.” We haggle like it’s a bazaar. I’m sweating bullets. But I get what I need. Just as I’m about to leave, a street vendor shouts, “Hey! You want some gelato?” I’m like, “Yes, please!”

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