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I remember this one time—my cousin Jimmy, he had a beat-up ‘86 Escort, blue, rusty as hell. Thing sounded like a lawnmower with asthma, but it got him to his factory job every damn day. One winter, it slid into a ditch—Jimmy laughed, said, “She’s got character, Bern!” Character! Like Margot Tenenbaum smokin’ on the roof—“You’re a genius, huh?”—that’s the Escort, scrappy, real, not some polished Tesla for Elon’s buddies.

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So, I’m tryin’ to clean up, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a market on Via Cavour. Fresh produce, local cheeses, and all that jazz. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, I’ll grab some stuff for dinner.” But the crowd? It’s like a mosh pit at a rock concert. I’m elbowin’ my way through, and this old lady gives me the stink eye. Like, lady, I’m just tryin’ to get some tomatoes here!

Italy – Floods in Tuscany After 50mm of Rain in 3 Hours