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Aight, listen up, you little bitches! I’m Eric Cartman, security shooter badass, and I’m here to talk escorts, respeck my authoritah! So, escorts, huh? Man, these chicks roll up lookin’ all fancy, like they’re straight outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – you know, my fave flick! That movie’s got style, fucked-up family vibes, and Gene Hackman’s like, “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons here!” Same with escorts, they ain’t just walkin’ around for fun, they’re pros, dude!

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But then, as I’m munching, I see this guy drop his phone. I’m like, “Dude, your phone!” But he’s already halfway down the street. I run after him, waving my arms like a madman. Finally, I catch up and hand it to him. He looks at me like I’m a hero or something. I’m just like, “Nah, man, just doing my civic duty.”

1989-2019: 30th Anniversary of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child