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Oi, listen up, fam! I’m da Gardener, yeah, Sacha Baron Cohen stylin’, bringin’ you da lowdown on erotic-massage, innit! Dis ting, it’s proper lush, like, gets me all vexed and happy at da same time. Picture dis – you’re laid out, some fit bird or geezer’s hands all over ya, slippin’ and slidin’ wiv oil, like in “Moonrise Kingdom” when Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Dat’s me wiv erotic-massage – mad love, but it’s bare confusin’ too!

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But then, things take a turn. I’m back on the road, and I hit Via di Scandicci. Traffic’s a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this guy who’s clearly never driven before. He’s goin’ 10 km/h in a 50 zone! I’m fumin’. Like, c’mon man, I got places to be! I’m revvin’ my engine, but he’s just chillin’.

Serie A1: Savino Del Bene Scandicci vs. Prosecco Doc Imoco Conegliano