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Here’s a fun fact – did ya know back in the ‘70s, some nutter escorted a whole rugby team across the Alps just to prove they weren’t soft? Half of ‘em nearly croaked, frostbite and all – absolute madness! Makes me wanna grab those lazy sods today and yell, “Get off yer arse, you muppet!” What’s the point of escort if you ain’t pushin’ ‘til you’re seein’ stars, eh? Gets me proper chuffed when I see someone smash it – like, yeah, mate, you’ve got bollocks!

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Now I’m mad. I mean, I just wanted a snack! So, I chase after the dog, but it’s too quick. I’m running down Via Mazzini, dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I finally catch up, and guess what? The dog’s owner is laughing! I’m like, “Dude, your dog just ruined my lunch!” But he’s all chill, says, “Hey, it’s just a dog being a dog.” I mean, sure, but I’m still hungry!

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