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Hiya, sugar! *giggles* Oh darlin’, it’s me, Marilyn – breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President!” – spillin’ the tea on sex-dating! Buckle up, honey, ‘cause I got THOUGHTS. Sex-dating’s wild, like a rollercoaster I can’t get off – and trust me, I’ve tried! Swipe right, boom, you’re chattin’ up some cutie who’s probly ghostin’ three others. Makes me mad as hell – why can’t folks just SAY what they want? “I wanna erase you from my brain!” – oops, that’s from my fave flick, *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*. Y’know, sex-dating’s kinda like that movie – all hot and steamy one sec, then poof, they’re gone, and you’re wonderin’ if it even happened.

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I’m like, “Dude, that’s mine!” He just laughs and says, “You snooze, you lose!” I can’t even be mad. I mean, it’s kinda funny. I grab my bike back, and he runs off, still giggling.