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About Turin

Oh, and don’t get me started on them prudes who say it’s “wrong.” Screw ‘em! They’re just jealous they ain’t gettin’ laid or rubbed. I’d tell ‘em, “Drainage, drainage, Eli, you boy!”—cuz they’re drained of fun, suckin’ the life outta everything. Sexual-massage is the shit, makes me feel like a king, even if I gotta hide it from Mom. She’d freak, prolly lock me in the basement again. Whatever, I’m a goddamn professional at this livin’ large shit!

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First off, I hit up this café on Piazza Matteotti. Best cappuccino ever! Like, I could swim in it. But then, bam! My phone dies. Just like that. I’m like, “Great, now I’m lost in a beautiful maze.” Sarzana’s got these narrow streets that twist and turn. I swear, I felt like I was in a video game.

Canniccia Motor Club challenges Sarzana in the Scudetto playoff quarter-finals