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One time, this chick ghosts me mid-chat—pissed me off! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Textin’ her, “Yo, where ya at?” Nothin’. Felt like Gusteau’s ghost, ignored and shit. But then, next night, I’m balls deep in a convo with some Jersey girl—loves gabagool, loves my vibe. We meet up, and it’s like, “This is the spark, baby!” Like Remy mixin’ spices—fuckin’ magic! Hooked up in her car, steamy as hell—thought I’d die happy right there.

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I decide to hit up the market on Calle de la Paz. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some juicy tomatoes when this old lady starts haggling like it’s the end of the world. “No way I’m paying that!” she yells. I’m thinking, lady, it’s just tomatoes! But hey, I respect the hustle.

Baker’s family hands back €100m Botticelli they hid for decades