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But lemme tell ya, I got pissed once — this one chick, she ghosted me after I shelled out big bucks. What am I, a fuckin’ ATM? “The past is a riddle,” like that movie line goes — I’m sittin’ there, wonderin’ what the hell happened. Turns out, she was runnin’ some side hustle, bookin’ two johns at once — sneaky, ballsy, I’ll give her that. Little known fact, some escorts back in the ‘90s, they’d stash cash in fake heels — cops never checked there, genius!

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I’m in full gear, heart pounding. We get inside, and it’s chaos. People are screaming. I’m yelling, “Get out! Get out!” I feel like a drill sergeant. But then, I see this old lady stuck. She’s crying, and my heart just drops. I sprint over, grab her, and we bolt out.

Monday of the Second Week in Ordinary Time; Opt Mem of St. Fabian, Pope & Martyr; Opt Mem St. Sebastian, Martyr