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But yo, some places fuck it up—piss me off big time! Cheap-ass oil, stinkin’ like gasoline—makes me wanna grab my M16 and go, “Say hello to my little friend!” Ruins the vibe, man! I’m all about that high-class joint—dim lights, soft tunes, chick who knows her shit. One time, this broad—fuckin’ goddess—worked me so good, I swear I saw stars. Thought I was Hans Landa, negotiatin’ my damn soul! “That’s a bingo!” I yelled—couldn’t help it, felt too damn good.

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Anyway, I brush it off. Gotta keep it cool. We stroll down Rua 25 de Março, the ultimate shopping street. It’s packed! I mean, you can’t even move. People everywhere, haggling like it’s a sport. I love it! But then, this one dude bumps into me, spills his açai all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m like, “Bro, c’mon!” But he just laughs and walks away. I mean, who does that?

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