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About Rome

But then—arghh!—she flips me over, and me shrieks, “No touchy me precious bits!” Made me mad, yesss, all red-faced, hissin’ loud. Ain’t nobody warned me ‘bout that part! Shoulda been a sign, “Beware: flippy time!” So embarrasin’, me slinks out, mutterin’, “Never again, nasty rubbers!”

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny. What else is there to say? But he’s going on about how the olive trees are thriving. I’m like, “Yeah, man, olives are life!”

Map of Where the Population of Europe Is Growing and Where It’s Declining