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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, nah, it’s old as dirt! Greeks did it, called it “anatripsis”—fancy word, huh? Bet dey got frisky in dem togas! I read dis—blew my mind—ancient China had it too, emperors gettin’ steamy massages to “balance chi.” Chi my ass, dey just wanted a good time! Makes me laugh, dese old dudes actin’ all holy—gimme a break!

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So, I’m all pumped for the day. Got my creative juices flowing, ready to tackle some projects. But then, bam! I step outta my apartment on Via Garibaldi, and it’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. First off, it’s raining. Like, not just a drizzle, but full-on monsoon vibes. I’m talking about the kind of rain that makes you question your life choices. I’m soaked in seconds. Great start, right?

Italian sterile drugmaker Facta Farmaceutici slammed in FDA warning letter