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Oh, and the typos—ha! I’m rushin’, y’all, fat fingers on this phone. Escrots, escorts, whatever—y’all get me. Funniest thing? Some dude on X said he hired an escort to scare his mom—dressed her like a ghost! I’m dyin’, that’s gold! Wish I’d seen it. Anyway, escorts—wild, messy, human as heck. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, they’re out there, and I’m just over here, hollerin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” ‘Cause dang, it’s a trip!

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Anyway, I finally get my coffee. It’s delish, but I spill half of it on my shirt. Great start, huh? I’m standing there, looking like a caffeinated mess, and I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bus zooming down Via XX Settembre. Seriously, who let that thing loose? It’s like they think they’re in a Fast & Furious movie or something.

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