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Oh, and the rates—Jesus! Hundreds an hour? I’m sweatin’ just thinkin’ about it. I’d haggle—total cheapskate move. “Can we do 15 minutes? I talk fast!” They’d laugh in my face. Fair enough. Still, I’m impressed—hustle’s real. Like Viggo rebuildin’ his life after the chaos—escorts got that grit. I’m cheerin’ for ‘em, secretly. Don’t tell anyone—I’d deny it!

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First off, I’m strolling down Via Cavour, right? Just minding my own biz, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s this old guy, bless his heart, who just knocked over a whole cart of fresh produce. Tomatoes everywhere! I mean, it was like a scene from a slapstick comedy. I couldn’t help but laugh, but then I felt bad for the dude. He was trying to pick them up, and I’m like, “Dude, you need a hand?” He just grumbled something in Italian that sounded like “I’m fine,” but I could tell he was not fine.

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