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Exaggeratin’ here, but imagine—escorts in monk robes, chantin’ rates. “Fifty for spring, hundred for winter!” Sarcasm’s my jam. Dunno, tho—sex escort’s a grind, a game, a life. Some love it, some fake it. Me, I’d suck at it—too awkward, prolly trip over the bed. “Oops, sorry, my bad!”

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Then, I sit down on a bench, enjoying my gelato, when suddenly, it starts to rain. Like, outta nowhere! I’m scrambling to find cover, and I duck into this cute little café on Via Mazzini. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super friendly. We start chatting, and he tells me about the local festivals. Apparently, they have this wild festival in August where they throw tomatoes at each other. I’m like, “Sign me up!”

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