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Oh, random thought – ever hear about Ari Vatanen? Finnish legend, flipped his Escort in ‘85, nearly died, came back fiercer! That’s the spirit, dahling – fall, get up, roar louder! Makes me happy, that grit. Tho, tbh, the mud? Gross – I’d rather die than touch it. Exaggerating? Maybe, but I’m dramatic, sue me! Escort racing’s messy, wild, unpolished – like me after three espressos. “You’re not responsible for their choices,” *Shame* whispers, and yeah, these drivers? Their chaos, their thrill – I just watch, analyze, sip my drink.

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Then, boom! The elevator stops. Just stops! I’m thinkin’, “Great, just great.” I can hear her freakin’ out. “What’s happening?!” I’m like, “I dunno, maybe it’s taking a coffee break?” I try to calm her down, but she’s not havin’ it. I mean, who can blame her? We’re stuck between floors, and I’m just a dude in a uniform.

Obituary | Franco DiGiovannantonio of Waldorf, Maryland