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Met this one chick, swear, she smelled like cheap gin and regret. Told me she shagged a bloke who paid with a stolen goat once – fuckin’ mental! Kept it in her flat ‘til the coppers came. Laughed me arse off, but damn, that’s grim too. Life’s a mess, innit? “Sharon!” – wish I could save ‘em all, but I’m just a mad bastard.
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I’m fuming, but I can’t lose my cool. So, I crack a joke. “Guess I’m the designated drink holder now!” They laugh, and suddenly, the tension’s gone. I’m thinking, “Maybe I should do stand-up instead.”
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